Stupid Old Man!
by spaceylacey
Summary: This story is very funny! Or so I think... Ginny's POV. She's at a muggle restaurant. Joel Madden makes an appearance! (Oh, the hotness); )
1. I swear, that Stupid Old Man!

**Stupid Old Man (At Olive Garden)**

One day, I was just minding my own business, just sitting in my favorite restaurant. I was very, very hungry. I was by myself, so I was very lonely. Then the waiter (who is very hot) comes by and says, "Welcome to Olive Garden, may I take your order?" I tell him what I want. He goes and gets it. While he's gone, I find an old man sitting by himself, so I make eye contact with him for a while. We're staring at each other, then he walks over. I'm so excited because, you know, I think that I've found myself a new buddy.

But no, not this old dude. Very rudely, he says, "Do you mind? I get very upset when people stare at me." So, I stick my tongue at him. So, he looks at me and gets even madder. Then I cross my eyes at him. The old dude starts muttering like he's having some kind of an attack. Then he starts pacing a little circle around my table. He really made me mad, so you know, I stick my foot out and I trip the guy. He was very fat, so the ground shook a little. The man makes me very upset, because as he's getting up, he's muttering curse words. It was bad! I mean, like -beep- this, -beep- that! Then my waiter comes back and gives me my drink. He looks very familiar.

So, I say, "Excuse me, waiter?" He turns around. I catch a glimpse of his nametag. I gasp

"Joel Madden! Come here!"

"Yes?"

"Will you sign my menu?"

"Sure, anything for you!" After he signs my menu, we sit and talk a while. The old man is still muttering, laying next to my chair.

"Oh, Joel, will you do something about him?"

"Yes, my love. SECURITY!" Then I smile at him and I feed him a breadstick. We live happily ever after.

Thank you, if you read this. I really appreciate it!! If you liked it, reply, if you didn't, well, tell me! REPLY! If you don't, I'll get the old man to freak on you!!


	2. The Heir of Superman!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER. Duh, we all know that if I did, it would be in "yo momma's dreams!" Naw, I'm just playing!

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So what? Big deal, I'm in love with Joel Madden! Yay me! So it makes a lot of girls jealous. Whatever, it's not like I can't ignore them. Well, anyway, Joel and I are just sitting in my room. Well, we're not exactly sitting. We're kinda snogging each other, well, senseless.

But it's great fun! Anyway, I was having a blast with his tongue shoved down my throat, when all of a sudden, "Ginny Weasley!" echoes up the stairs.

"What **does** she want?" I look at Joel, and motion for him to be silent. You know, me being fresh out of Hogwarts, and having a guy in my bedroom didn't mix well with my parents.

"Get down here now!" came my mother's loud voice again.

"Fine." I muttered.

"What do I do? I mean, am I gonna be here for a while?" Joel asked me.

"Oh, you can listen to your cd, because I have all of them…" I replied dreamily walking out of the bedroom and down the stairs. "Oh, mum, what **is **it this time?"

"Ginny Weasely." She stated calmly with a smirk on her face. Oh no, here it comes. The **dreaded** calm before the storm. Then I saw the fury in her eyes. This was serious, she was very upset. "**Why **didn't you tell me that Joel Madden is here? In this house? You know that Percy has a very serious problem containing his **'pride'** when hot famous people are popping up all over the place."

"But, mummy…"

"Don't you 'but, mummy' me, Ginerva Molly Weasley." My mum screamed.

"But, I thought Percy was gone for good." I argued.

"It doesn't matter, he still comes here for dinner sometimes, and Joel is not leaving without eating some of my food, we don't want him to think we're cheap." My mum said. I felt so much pity for her. It's hard to have a son that's gay. I think it disgraced her to know he had an affair with his boss. You know, the Fudge dude.

"Well, it's not like no one doesn't know already. He's always like Billy Martin, not Joel. I don't know why. Maybe because he can see into the future and he knew that one day Joel's tongue would be licking mine. But Mum, it's nothing to worry about too much. He'll live, okay?"

"All right, go back up to your room, and keep Joel company," she said. My mouth dropped wide open.

"You trust me with a boy? In my room? For real?"

My mum just shook her head, and gave me a knowing look. "I trust you because I have x-ray vision. I want you to know, I'm the Heir of Superman."

(a/n: I know this can't be real, but go with me on it.)

"Wow, my mom is SuperGrandWoman! Wow! Dude, wow!" I looked at her with pride. I thought to my self, wow, my mom is a superhero! How cool is that? I wonder how many powers she has! I thought this to myself.

"I have many powers," she said.

'Excuse me? How did you know that I was thinking that?' I thought. I looked at her with a puzzled expression. Then, gasp! I realized that she could read minds. Then, I also realized that Joel was still up in my bedroom. So I looked at my mom. She nodded.

I ran up the stairs. As I approached the door to my bedroom, I heard funny sounds. I ran into my room thinking surely Joel wasn't cheating on me in my own room! As I opened the door, I was shocked at what I saw!

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Ohhh! Cliffhanger! I have never been able to say that before! But it does have to do with Joel, be sure to review so you can find out what happens to Joel, and Ginny!


	3. Forgetting Something?

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, it's just that I've been busy, and I have a life! I know you're thinking, **you **have a **life**? But, seriously, I really kind of do. Whatever, anyway, on with Chapter 3.

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My mouth opened and I shouted, "GET OFF OF HIM, PERCY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Percy was laying on top of a very shocked Joel, and his lips were all over Joel's neck. Joel still looked stunned.

"Oh, Ginny, dear, when did you get here?" Percy tried to play it off, but I knew what he was up to. He was trying to steal Joel away from me.

"DON'T YOU 'GINNY DEAR' ME! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOU STEALING ALL OF MY HOT CELEBRITY BOYFRIENDS!" I screamed at him. "Besides, Joel's not gay." I added as an afterthought.

"Oh, but I am…" came a male's voice from somewhere out in the hall. Who could it be?

I turned around, and rolled my eyes. "Not you again."

Yep, you guessed it, it was the old man. Only this time he had on a different outfit, but he looked like Harrison Ford wannabe turned hooker, which **was **rather funny, come to think of it. He had on a bright yellow hat, to top it off. (Notice the pun…sort of.)

"Oh, yeah baby, it's me again." He tried to be all seductive, but I was more disgusted by actually seeing his hand running up and down his bum. "But this time, I'm not here for you, I'm here for him." With that, he motioned toward my brother.

"Well, now that we know his purpose, I think that it would be best if we left," Percy said, walking up to the stupid old man, and taking his arm. They walked out quickly, but not quick enough, because just as they turned the corner, I saw Percy (that stupid gay idiot, what a prick) give the man a nice short slap on the bum.

"Boy am I glad that only one of my brothers are gay." I sighed.

"Which brother are you talking about?" another voice broke the silence.

"Oh, Ron, you know the one that prefers pickles over green beans, maggot sucking, lip spinner, you know, the twisted one." Of course, I meant every word of it. Especially after what he said about…**gasp** Harry! Oh no! Not again! I forgot all about him!

This is the second time that I forgot all about my boyfriend, Harry Potter. Well, what can I say? I like celebrities, especially making out with them!

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That is the end of Chapter Three! How do you like it? I think it's stupid, and she (Ginny) changes moods too much. But, don't we all? Oh well, whatever! I'm off to write Chapter Four!


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